Again,
some of this information was given to me by Hospice. Although I am
inserting some of my own thoughts .... I do not take credit for
compiling the information.
The following is a
checklist which highlights a few important matters to consider while
you're in the grief process. Each person is different so beware of
ready-made solutions. The following are suggestions to
consider. They may or may not fit your situation.
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Psychological
Everyone needs some help. Don't be afraid to accept it.
While you may feel pressured to put on a brave front, it is
important to make your needs known by expressing your feelings to
those you trust.
Often numbness sees us through the first few days or weeks. Don't be
too surprised if a let-down comes later.
Many people are more emotionally upset during bereavement than at
any other time in their lives and are frightened by this. Be aware
that severe upset is not unusual and if you are alarmed, seek a
professional opinion.
Whether you feel you need to be alone or accompanied -- make it
known. Needing company is common and does
not mean you will always be dependent on it.
There is no set time limit for grieving. It varies from person to
person, depending on individual circumstances.
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Physical
It is easy to neglect yourself because sometimes you just don't care
during time of grief.
You are under great stress and may be more susceptible to disease.
It is especially important not to neglect your health.
Try to eat reasonably even if there is no enjoyment in it.
Drink lots of fluids, but not too much caffeine.
Although sleep may be disturbed, try to get adequate rest.
If you have symptoms, get a doctor to check them out.
If people urge you to see your doctor, do so even if it doesn't make
sense to you at the time.
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Spiritual
Personal faith is frequently a major source of comfort during
bereavement.
For some, however, maintaining faith may be difficult during this
period of loss.
Either reaction may occur, and both are consistent with later
spiritual growth.
The intensity of our grief reactions is not directly proportionate
to our faith or lack of it.
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Social
Friends and family are often most available early in bereavement and
less so later. It is important to be able to reach out to them
when you need them. Don't wait for them to guess your
needs. They will often guess incorrectly and too late.
During a period of
grief, it an be difficult to judge new relationships. Don't be
afraid of them, yet it is usually wise not to rush into them.
Someone who is not
too close to you but who is willing to listen may be particularly
helpful.
No one will
substitute for your loss. Try to enjoy people as they
are. Do not avoid social contacts because of the imperfections
in those you meet.
Sometimes, in an
effort to stop the pain of grief, people turn towards replacing the
lost person (e.g., adoption of a child, remarriage, etc.) too
soon. It is hard, though, to see new relationships objectively
if you are still actively grieving and this kind of solution may
only lead to other problems.
Try to make clear
to children that sadness is perfectly normal and that neither theirs
nor yours needs to be hidden. It is important that periods of
happiness are enjoyed and not a cause of guilty feelings.
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Economic
Avoid hasty decisions. Try not to make major life decisions
within the first year unless absolutely necessary.
In general, most
people find it best to remain settled in familiar surrounds until
they can consider their future calmly.
Don't be afraid to
seek good advice. Usually it is wise to get more than one
opinion before making decisions.
Don't make any
major financial decisions without talking them over with experts.
Having a job or
doing volunteer work in the community can be helpful when you are
ready, but it is important not to over-extend yourself.
A job will not
fulfill all your needs and you should not turn to excessive
involvement in work. Relationships with family and friends
should not be sacrificed in an effort to keep busy.
Link To Help You In Dealing With Grief
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Closure:
My Experience |
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Raindrop:
Explaining Death To Children
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Coping
With The Unexpected Death Of A Loved One
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The
Waterbug Story (Children)
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Crisis,
Grief & Healing
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The
Grief Recovery Institute
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Surviving
The Holidays
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Grief
Of A Pet
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Who
Am I Now? Spousal Grief
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Teenage
Grief
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Grief
Recovery On-Line
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Grief
& Bereavement
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A
Grief Like No Other
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We will
all have to face grief at sometime in our life. The important thing
is that we recognize it and then seek the proper help to help us get
through it. Never be ashamed to ask for help. We will all cope
differently. We will all take different amounts of time to go
through it. Do not continue to suffer or be afraid when there is
help available.
Equip yourself with
the proper help and information so that when your friends or loved
ones are going through it, you will know how to recognize it and
you'll be able to help them.
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